How to do gay sex
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Don’t be embarrassed – just tell them exactly what happened. In reality, in many contexts, someone who has casual sex with several new people each week but who tests regularly and communicates their status is a safer partner than someone who has only a few partners a year but never tests because they don’t think of themself as the kind of person who gets STIs.
Being mindful about safe(r) sex
Safer sex doesn’t need to be a major damper on your sex or dating life, no matter what that looks like.
Prioritizing the bottom’s comfort ensures a mutually satisfying encounter.
Safety and Health: A Comprehensive Guide
Ensuring safer sex practices is crucial for protecting against STIs and maintaining overall well-being.
Eating more fibre can help keep things moving regularly, which can make douching easier or eliminate the need for it.
To learn more about fibre, check out our guide.
Toys
The anal sphincter is a ring of muscle (two rings, if we’re being precise) that controls what goes out and in of your ass.
You get to decide “what counts as sex” to you which is especially true when it comes to sexual debuts — a necessary and inclusive term for self-determined first times that looks beyond the traditional, heterosexist version of “losing your virginity.”
The Freddie Guide to: Bottoming
Bottoming is an art.
Open dialogue ensures both partners’ boundaries, desires, and comfort levels are respected. This is because there’s something going in a part of your body where things usually… come out. For a small subset, it suggested that gay men (especially gay men who cruise or have casual sex) are inherently unsafe and gay male sex is categorically dangerous or bad.
Of course, that latter argument is deeply untrue.
Safe sex includes emotional safety, even in more casual encounters. Communication is essential to ensure both partners are comfortable and consenting. A GLSEN National School Climate Survey found that fewer than 5% of LGBTQ students had health classes that included positive representations of LGBTQ-related topics. It’s a game-changer for those who want to enjoy safe gay sex without anxiety.
For some, that might be all you need.
Douching
Some people use douching to prepare for bottoming. These are sets of toys that get gradually bigger.
To learn more about anal toys, check out our guide.
Lube
Lube is an essential part of anal play. Open discussions with healthcare providers about sexual history and practices can lead to personalized care.
You can do this yourself with some of the steps above, or you can do this with them during sex. Building confidence involves embracing your sexuality and fostering a positive self-image. But queer sex and sexual identity can be so much more than these two.
Anxiety, especially for newcomers, is natural, but open communication with your partner can alleviate fears. Avoid oil-based lubes, as they can damage condoms and sex toys. Communicate with your partner and let them know how it feels. Open communication with your partner about desires and boundaries fosters trust and intimacy. This aspect of life is a natural and vital part of human diversity, deserving respect and understanding.
Importance of Communication and Consent in Gay Sexual Encounters
Communication and consent are cornerstone principles in any sexual encounter, particularly in gay sex.
But we still need some info in order to do so.
Let’s talk about what classic sex education might’ve missed about how to have sex if you're queer, from what sex between queer people means to how to keep it safe and consensual between the rainbow sheets.
What Queer Sex Means and How to Have it
Redefine and self-define sex.