Gay sex tips
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Fight the urge to clench
Your natural response will be to clench but suppressing the reflex to tighten up is crucial. If you're using silicone toys, opt for water-based lubricants to avoid any potential damage.
3. It helps reduce discomfort, increases arousal, and maintains the suppleness of anal tissues. Want to learn more? Dance around the room to your favorite music.
But for many others, things are more fluid.
Maybe you’re a top who bottoms once a year, maybe you’re vers and split it 50/50 (or 70/30, or 60/40), or maybe you don’t care about labels. That’s ok.
Sex should be fun and pleasurable for everyone involved. You could pretend to be strangers, role play as doctor/patient, prisoner/officer, “John”/sex worker, or just about anything else you could think of.
Mainstream sex education often overlooks the LGBTQ+ community, leaving many seeking information on their own.
In this post, we offer guidance to help gay and bisexual men navigate the world of bottoming. It sets off the same signals to your brain that you need to poop, but you probably don’t. Just don’t forget to lube up the applicator itself before you use it.
To learn more about lube, check out our guide.
How to bottom
Bottoming isn’t something you can dive right into.
In other words, feeling comfortable and safe with a partner can help improve things.
If the pain is short-lived (as in, it goes away after your partner pulls out) then it’s probably ok. Preparation is key
A clean and hygienic start is crucial for both physical and psychological comfort. Some need a bit of guidance to better understand just what will work and will not work regarding pleasure.
Silicone-based lube is a good option that works well with condoms and most toys. Be sure not to use any bubble bath or soaps that could cause issues with your skin or genitalia.
This is because the rectum doesn’t self-lubricate, so you’ll need some extra help. If you start slowly, breathe and focus on relaxing your muscles down there, it should gradually feel better.
In general, bottoming can be a confusing sensation for your body. If you’d like, you can then progress from fingers to toys.
Play a good old-fashioned game of hide and seek, with sexual endeavors (like, “if I find you, I’m going to kiss you ______.”) Work on getting out of your own head and relaxing your brain.
Using lubrication can help your skin, and that of your partner’s, glide easily across and around each other.
If you’re using toys to prepare for bottoming, you’ll be using lube anyway. Then take a shower and wash your butt with soap and warm water. Read on!
Am I a bottom?
When it comes to queer life, there are two rites of passage: coming out, and asking yourself “am I a top or a bottom”?